New and Old

I have been stretching my thoughts lately to span some wide distances... from the past to the future. It is probably because so many things have been happening to me that force me to stare my future square in the eye and look back on my past and how all the things that have taken place play into what is happening to me, here, now. I feel a need to reconnect with people I have known and cared for in years past. That shouldn't prove too difficult because this is the wonderful year that all of my best friends from high school return home from their missions and I have the opportunity to see old acquaintances. I'm also realizing now how fast the time has gone by since I graduated high school. Life is so different now, and I expect it to be continually changing, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. My blog layout, for one, has recently been changed by yours truly if you haven't noticed. I am quite fond of it! Change is good if we make the most of it. So that is my plan for this new year. I usually don't make a list of resolutions. I'm feeling quite inclined to this year, however... we'll see... some of it might end up posted here. Anyway, here's to then and now and forever hereafter!

Personal Anecdotes

Today, I would like to post some stories about my childhood that I love. This is basically bits and pieces of a personal history paper I wrote for my family history class. It also reveals lots of other things about me, I think. Enjoy! [NOTE: it's a little long, so just press on for as long as you please] On March 18, 1988, my mom asked my dad to bring her a dozen red roses. That was the day I was born. In her post-labor excitement over having a baby girl, she forgot about her request until the next morning when she woke up to twelve lovely red carnations by her hospital bed. My dad came in the room beaming, and asked her if she liked her roses. I have one brother named Justin. We have never fought, but did get into some trouble together when we were little. One time we decided to paint ourselves green. My mom and dad were not very happy when they found two green spray-painted silhouettes on the side of the house. They were not any happier when they discovered that my hair would stubbornly remain green for the next few weeks. One summer afternoon, I decided that I needed a haircut, and that I had the skills to do it myself. Mom and dad were in the front yard working in the flowerbeds when I skipped around the backyard with shears, slicing off random chunks of my dark, straight hair that fell past the small of my back. I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into until my mom evened it all out and presented the new bob cut to my dad and brother. I distinctly remember my dad nostalgically commenting that he liked my pretty long hair. I also remember bursting into tears shortly thereafter, crying “daddy doesn’t think I’m pretty anymore!” Up until kindergarten, I thought my grandma was just my grandma. She was always a grandma. Her purpose in life was to be mine. When she teased about giving my dad a spanking one evening, I giggled, “you can’t spank him, you’re not his mom!” I didn’t believe her when she told me that, indeed, she was. My parents and grandparents had a good laugh over that conversation, but I had a good mental readjusting after it. It was a totally foreign concept to me at the time. Every year in the springtime, Sandy City, where I grew up, would schedule a city cleanup week when residents could load their front curbs with whatever junk they wanted, however large and however much they could fit there without disrupting traffic. City services would then come by and pick it all up to help everyone with their spring cleaning and clearing. I loved Sandy Cleanup. I would rummage through all of the piles on my way home from school and bring home little treasures. I still have a hanging music box I would listen to every night that plays “It’s A Small World.” One time I found a wallet with lots of money in it, so I took the money up to the owner’s front door and received a bitter scolding for going through their personal items. I stopped rummaging after that. Justin would bring me home little trinkets from his 5th grade class every Friday. Some of these were probably less valuable than the items I found on the street curbs. Bouncy balls, mini teddy bears, pogs, and candy were the prizes that students in my brother’s class could purchase with tokens earned during the week for good, kind, respectful behavior. Naturally, my brother always received lots of tokens and bought me something special with them every single week. Near the end of my elementary school days, I discovered several particular interests and talents that I clung to as I began to accept and love myself for myself. I had a teacher who thought of me as a smart student for the first time ever. She inspired me to work hard in school and write and write and write anything and everything. I developed a love for writing and reading that year, and won the State Reflections contest in the Literature category for a story I wrote about an old man who discovers hundreds of fairies living in the crumbling stone wall under the waterfall of a magical pond surrounded by red polka-dotted mushrooms. ...oh to be a kid again, and have such simpler problems and more magical ambitions!

Tag, You're It!

Okay, Emily Ann tagged me in her blog so now I need to post the fourth picture from the fourth folder in my Pictures folder.

Voila:

I took this picture last summer on my back porch in Draper. It was basically right after I discovered picnik.com, and I ran around my house trying to find cool things to take pictures of so I could use them on the spiffy online photo editing Web site!

Now, I tag Kayla and Rachie!

Post the fourth photo in the fourth folder in your Pictures folder!

Things I Have Learned This Semester

...and some things I always knew but never realized that I did... . . . .. . . -1- Never expect anything. It almost always sets you up for disappointment. Pleasant surprises are just so pleasant, anyway. 2- The more time you spend in the Library, the better grades you SHOULD get. 3- If you walk out of a test thinking you did better than you really did, then it is a poorly written test. 4- Being different is a good thing. 5- The Brontës were a strange, brilliant little family. 6- Everyone needs to be appreciated. 7- Scriptures are different every time you read them. 8- There is this really cool butter spray you can get at the grocery store that has zero calories but still makes everything taste yummy. 9- Salt isn't very good for you. 10-It really isn't that hard to avoid contention. All you have to do is try. 11- Dating is confusing. 12- If you don't do your laundry, nobody will. 13-"Say what you need to say!" 14- There is an aquarium in the basement of the Widtsoe. 15-Some memories never fade and some friendships last forever. 16-Snow is beautiful. 17-I am indecisive. 18-Public Relations majors have to write for the Daily Universe for a whole semester. Mine is this coming winter. 19- Being open-minded is such a good thing. It keeps you from getting offended all the time and really makes you appreciate when someone is respecting you. 20- Tomasittos serves really yummy biscuits before 11am every morning. 21-I will be turning 21 this coming year... 22-Rules protect us and make us happier when we willingly obey them. 23- "Just because everything's changing, doesn't mean it hasn't been this way before." 24- Smiling is attractive. 25-God lives and loves me very dearly. He knows better than I what is best for me.

Cereal

This morning I had cereal for breakfast. Sometimes I wonder why we love it so much. If you think about it too hard, you realize that a bunch of thin, flaky wheat crackers floating in a bowl of milk is kind of disgusting. It's just strange, some of the things we think ourselves into liking or disliking. As much as we wouldn't like to admit it, this lovely cereal example reflects how dependent our opinions are upon other people and the cultural contexts we coexist in. Yeah, I just love cereal. So much! My favorite kind of [soggy flat grain cracker] would have to be Life. Cinnamon Life, particularly. However, tomorrow that might change to Raisin Nut Bran, because of the yummy nutty covered raisins. Or if I'm feeling healthy I really do love Special K, but sometimes you just can't refuse the sweettasteofthoseCinnamonToastCrunchswirlsineverybite!

Waiting for the Bus: An Exhibit

I hate it when the bus is late. When I'm waiting for a late bus, I like to take pictures of myself on my phone's camera. It is great fun, but I still don't like waiting. It actually happens quite a bit since I work mulitple times a week and I ride the bus to work. Yes, I have now made quite a ravishing collection of streetside photos that subtly represents the inconsistency of UTA buses in Utah Valley. I've been learning about random things that modern artists do to everyday things and then declare them art. Therefore, I give you art:

Good, Better, Best

What do you do with your time? Good things? Great things? What is something that you could be doing right now that is better than reading my blog? Now, I can see how perusing my chatter and babble may be very important to your personal well-being. However, the thought makes one wonder how efficient our daily routines really make us. I need to make time for what is MOST important. Determine what that is and then do it. Don't waste time on silly little indulgences! Become involved in doing good. One of my favorite quotes by President Gordon B. Hinckley says: "You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And the good that is in you must be spread to others." This past week I made a nifty little checklist that is hanging by my desk. I've written there a number of things that I want to make sure and accomplish every week, things that I should do instead of facebooking or watching movies to fill any spare time I may have, and a short reminder list of the things I have determined to do daily. It's kind of like my own personal inventory. I'm still not sure how it will work, though. Checklists are good, but they are strange when it comes to an attempt to stretch yourself spiritually, some of those things should just be spontaneous... maybe. Hmmm.... we will just see how this turns out. I think it's a step in the right direction, for sure!

How to Be Brave

Sometimes it's so hard to just open your mouth and say what you must. Each and every time we speak, we submit ourselves to the judgement of those who hear us... subconsciously, of course. There is always the question of what they will ultimately think of us, how they will respond, what kind of an effect you will have on them, and what kind of an effect that will have on your existing relationship. Some of the things we say are more poignant than others in this way, for example, politics, religion, a person's character, and issues of interpersonal relations. The reason I have been pondering these things has a lot to do with the recent election, particularly Proposition 8 in California and my Church's surprisingly active support of it. I've been dealing with the prospect of confonting those whom I respect and care for, about touchy subjects that I feel very strongly about and they feel very strongly about in a completely different way. I've also been learning that there are some things that we just MUST say that may be hard to do. It's strange to think that you have to be brave to just talk to someone. I've gotten so comfortable with just talking to people about almost anything, even people I don't know that well. I watched a mission prep. fireside today that was completely focused on "open[ing] your mouth" (D&C33:2) about the gospel. Share what you know to be true with everyone you come in contact with! Even if it's scary. Be brave! .... gah... Why do we fear each other so? What is so terrible about judgment from others? How do we overcome those fears? I guess these could be rhetorical questions... but I still want to answer them for myself.

Patriotic Conviction

Today the billions of Americans who call themselves registered voters are fulfilling their oh-so-important civic duty. I have to admit I am not one of these people. It's probably a good thing that not many people read my blog, because I am a bit ashamed of this fact, and I'm sick of coming up with excuses why I'm such a slacker. I truly wish I had remembered and found the time to send in that silly little paper before September 31, or whenever the deadline was to postmark it. Why didn't I register before this year? Well, I honestly haven't felt the need or pressure to. Until now. Of course, it's only pressure I'm feeling at the moment. Everyone who has asked me about it and discovered my terrible transgression has been somewhat angry with me for not registering and voting this year. They make me feel like such a terrible person. Interestingly, though, most of these people are my fellow students. It is quite amazing how so many young people are finding it more and more important to be a part of this national ritual. It seems that way, anyway. I genuinely commend them and admire them for this. However, I don't personally regret not voting this time around, and that makes me wonder if I ever will understand the importance of voting. I see that it is partially the principle that matters. The fact that every single eligible citizen in this great nation has the opportunity to give their own input is truly inspiring, even if it so often is undermined by the overwhelming majority. It is the fact that you are participating, truly becoming a member of this grand brotherhood of Americans, that seems to fuel a large amount of conviction. It's kind of like singing in a large choir. If you were to step out in the middle of a song, it is doubtful that much will change. However, being a member of that choir is what makes you care. If everyone decided to stop singing because their one voice was unimportant, there would be no sound at all. I never really felt that twinge of patriotism that runs through the blood of far too few Americans until I took American Heritage at BYU. I believe that it is because I grew to know those people who fought for something stronger, more stable, and more safe for the wild variety of people in this world who just want the right to be themselves. I learned and gained a testimony that God truly had a hand in the founding and stabilizing of this great nation, so that His restored gospel could bless my life today. I guess I just need to find that conviction that will inspire me to claim and contribute my seemingly insignificant ballot. Maybe next time... Just don't murder me before then for not really caring too much right now.... ... P.S. I didn't take this picture. I just think it is very beautiful. The URI to TrackBack this entry is: http://americantraveler.blogsome.com/2008/08/31/statue-of-liberty/trackback/

Time On My Hands

So, I finally finished my block class last week. It was kind of killing me because I hated doing the homework and there was just far too much of it. It was a 3 credit class but doubled over felt like 6 credits if you know what I mean. But it's over now! Now my spare time is strangely abundant. It feels like I only have 12 credits because I've already finished three, and they finally started scheduling me less hours at work, but now I'm afraid it's not as necessary anymore. I have lots of time on my hands. Now I have to be better at what I do I guess. I should get ahead in school and maybe write all my papers early so I don't have to write and edit them all in one sitting. I could exercise more, practice music, serve more, and read more. I'm thinking that I like this. Too bad my life is rarely this way. I need to just soak it all up like a sponge and use this time to do some of my own personal growing and giving. I was talking to a friend yesterday about spontaneous learning versus student learning, or having knowledge thrust upon you. It's so interesting how we retain the things we learn and experience spontaneously and out of sincere interest than those that are spoon fed to us and expected to be regurgitated in such-and-such a way. Well, here's to spare time!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

I love being a girl. Exept for when I don't every few weeks or so. Girls are just fabulous creatures. We like doing things that are fun, like going shopping and doing pedicures and watching chick flicks. This is an ode to me and all my girls...

Rachie

Em

Amie

Kayla

Cecily

Laynie

Mom

Katie Ray

Emily

Jess

Jill

Abby

Kellie

Cathy

Michelley

Dan

wow and so many others...

Thanks for letting me play with your hair. Thanks for painting my toenails. Thanks for staying up late to watch Pride and Prejudice with me. Thanks for listening to my silly boy stories. Thanks for telling me YOUR silly boy stories. Thanks for lending me a bobbie pin. Thanks for telling me you think my shoes are cute. Thanks for retying my bow. Thanks for baking cakes with me. Thanks for letting me sing into your head. Thanks for singing with me. Thanks for dance partying with me. Thanks for laughing with me. Thanks for loving me even when I mess up. Thanks for thinking I'm beautiful even when I feel like crap. Thanks for being my example. Thanks for serving me. Thanks for letting me use your curling iron. Thanks for running through the fountains with me. Thanks for playing on the swings with me. Thanks for letting me go picture-taking happy. Thanks for talking. Thanks for helping me analyze situations WAY too much. Thanks for agreeing with me. Thanks for telling me when I'm wrong. Thanks for telling me when I have something in my teeth. Thanks for listening to me.

Thanks for letting girls be girls and being one yourself!

Free Pizza

My cousin and I went to the mall on her birthday. This wasn’t the only thing we did, but I thought it was one of the most interesting ones. We went in with a list of things we were going to do… things that would put us out of our comfort zone and make us feel crazy, I guess. I’m not exactly sure why we thought this would be fun… One of the things we had to do was give a 12” tomato pizza to some random person we didn’t know. We had just ordered some cheesy bread and pizza from Pier 49 for lunch, and quickly realized that our tummies couldn’t fit much more than a few slices of the cheesy bread. So we had this pizza. When we walked into Fashion Place Mall with it we were giggling at our absolute cleverness, trying to think of the kind of person who would actually take something so random from two total strangers in a shopping mall. Not to mention the fact that it was hot food. We really could have been some sick teenagers playing a mean trick. What if it was really old or there was something simply grotesque inside of it? Why in the world would someone want to give away a perfectly good pizza to a stranger? We thought of giving it to a bum on the street but decided that might be both difficult and dangerous. So, the next stereotype that came to our mind was none other than a stupid, hungry male adolescent or young adult. Better yet, a group of them. How perfect. It was actually very, very easy to do. In fact, our specimens fell right into our laps in the form of four twenty-something TMobile salesmen in a kiosk who tried to get our attention no less than five minutes after entering the building. As soon as they started bashing our Verizon phones I realized I could kill two birds with one stone. I held up the pizza and asked if they wanted it. Voila. It was a done deal before I even said a word. In my shock and excitement I asked them to take a picture with me. Flash. Dude, what kind is it? Sweet, it’s hot. Thanks. Yeah, have a nice day. Ironically, the pizza was the most graciously and enthusiastically accepted thing Rachel and I did that day in that mall. Did you know that about 90% of retail stores won’t let you take photographs inside? Yeah, I learned that, and just how annoyed shoppers and retailers get when you disrupt any kind of normality by interacting with them under no ulterior motive. I guess our society really is a neighborhood of strangers who just prefer not to be bothered. How sad a truth, when a friendly face, a smile, and a cordial hello just might have the power to heal someone of a bad day.

Thoughts on Readiness

I have a lot of things tumbling through my head right now. They mostly make me feel good emotions, thankfully. However, sometimes they make me a little bit confused. Have you ever been surprised when you don't react to something the way you thought you might? It's strange, because you should be able to understand yourself enough, right? Yes, it's strange. Anyway, I'm so beyond excited to start this new semester of classes, move back down to my beloved Provo, and work at a new job! I've anticipated all of this since spring, when I knew for good that this was my plan. All summer, I couldn't wait for the change, because change is so exciting, and it seemed to be all so good, too! Yet... I feel strange. I'm almost scared... a little. I know that this year in Provo can be so much better than my first two years of college were. However, I think I've finally realized that it all depends on me and what I do. A social life, good grades, activity, and stable independence won't come my way unless I'm pursuing them and nurturing them. You have to talk to people and be outwardly friendly to make friends. You have to be responsible and make smart choices to be proud of your independence. You have to maintain that balance on your own. Your place of residence, or the time of year, or the kinds of classes you take don't determine that for you. I think that's why I'm scared. I still think it will be good... mostly because I've recognized that now! (Of course, environmental situations do help with those kinds of things!) I think I can do it. I'm also feeling a bit of... loneliness. Mmmm... maybe not loneliness. I can't think of a good word to epitomize the feeling. I'm just.... very surprised at how much I'm already missing my family, even though I haven't really officially moved in yet. This is also why I think I'm feeling so much gratitude and peace. It is actually overwhelming. You see, the first time I moved away, I was so excited that I was blind to the fact that my family was missing from my everyday activities. I think I neglected their spot in my heart. I feel like this past year I spent living at home in Draper, despite my lack of excitement for the experience, has been one of the best decisions I've made. I think I've learned to appreciate so many things. I've learned so many things about people and life. I've become more responsible and stable with my personal time-management and discipline. It's just so amazing how things work out. I know that my Heavenly Father knew what I needed most, and it is the most satisfying thing in the world to know that you have followed His direction even when you didn't want to. I know that His love blesses me in so many other untraceable ways. I'm just so grateful for the times when I can trace all these tender mercies back to Him. So, I guess the point of this blog is... I'm so ready to go for it and become a better me. (even if it's going to be hard or scary!)

Writing and Sneezing and Watering

This blog was not my idea. However, I'm pretty excited to dive into the blogosphere! ... but it still was not my idea... So, here is the story: I am still sick today. My dumb sinus infection has decided to wage a full-fledged war on my face and then my tummy decided that it didn't like all of the contention going on inside of me. I will spare you the details of what exactly is going on inside my body. The point is, my mama decided I was staying home from work today. So, I decided to check my email this morning. GMAIL INBOX: Facebook - someone wants to be your friend! Facebook - someone tagged a really unflattering picture of you! Facebook - oh, someone else tagged (2) unflattering pictures of you! Facebook - SOMEONE'S GETTING MARRIED!!!! and you get to decide if they really do want to send you an invite because they just sent you and everyone they know the same message about how they need your addressessssss! BYU - Buy Athletic Tickets!!! Facebook - someone wrote on your wall! Shayne Clarke - Eng 316 Fall Notes/Request oh! I have a real email today! kinda... Yes, so my English teacher has reached out to his beloved students through email to inform us that he would like us to complete a few tasks before classes start and that he thinks we should be super excited for fall semester (which I totally am!). He said I needed to start a blog. So I did!