My First Story!

I am writing for the Daily Universe this term. Yesterday, my first story ran in the paper and I was a wee bit excited... and frightened... So, my friends, here it is: Marriage fortified through disability By Hilarie Laukat On the 19th anniversary of Julie Graves' marriage to her husband, Nevin, she set out with him on a leisurely mountain bike ride, only to return home over a year later unable to use her paralyzed lower-half. Julie had lost traction on the ride and fallen down a steep cliff, an accident which, she believes, has made ordinary tasks particularly difficult to accomplish. Despite the physical difficulties that accompany disability, Julie and Nevin Graves do not believe that Julie's paralysis has done anything but good for their relationship. "We have always had lots of love," Julie Graves said. "But if anything, it has really deepened; it's not so much on the surface now." Physical disability often enhances marital happiness, according to a study by Jeremy Yorgason of BYU's School of Family Life. These findings were part of a larger study conducted over a 20 year period, which helped Yorgason conclude much more than an increase in marital happiness for couples who face physical disability. "It is important for couples to consider that there are many things affecting their relationship," Yorgason said. "They shouldn't become overly focused on physical disability or some other major difficulty they may face." Yorgason's study, first reported in the academic journal Research on Aging, compared five aspects of marital relationships - divorce rates, couple interaction, disagreement between spouses, the amount of problems faced, and overall marital happiness - with a variety of physical circumstances ranging from the ages of dependent children to the functional health of spouses. For Nevin and Julie Graves, physical disability was seen as only one stressor of many that have actually strengthened their 39 year marriage. They have raised eight children together, served in dozens of church callings, and experienced the usual highs and lows of life together. "Love changes with time, it's like a muscle," Nevin Graves said. "The more challenges you face, the stronger it becomes." For married couples, challenges can come in all shapes and sizes. Yorgason's studies hypothesize that the key to overcoming trials is recognizing them and actively addressing them. "When a spouse has a defined disability, the couple can take the time to adjust and work to overcome the problem together," Yorgason said. hilarieann@gmail.com